I love those moments…

I know it's Father's Day, happy Father's Day dad!!! Love you, but this is what came to mind today!

You know those little moments when something you hear, or something you smell or see brings back memories?  That happened this morning! I love that, well, especially when they are good memories.

This morning I was walking out to feed our chickens and the sweet smell of the air, the height of the sun in the sky, the temperature, reminded me of when I was about 13 and would ride my bike to swimming lessons in June.

I remember it being SO cold and not wanting to get in the water.  I would even wear a sweatshirt when I was riding over in the morning.  I remember complaining in my head at first about having to ride my bike because it was SO far and cold (It wasn't).  But I also remember enjoying the quiet.  I didn't realize then how much I needed that solitude, and quiet.

I realize that I need that quiet stillness so much more now.  Maybe it's the chaos of my crazy life of homeschooling 4 kids, and church, and yard work, and the list goes on and on that make that need so apparent (and yes 2 of those children were just trying to kill each other as I was writing this.  Isn't it ironic, don't you think?).  I think that time for reflection is so crucial.

About 5 years ago we moved 45 minutes out of town onto 8 acres of land.  At first it was a very difficult adjustment.  I missed the grocery store being around the corner, well 3 grocery stores.   I missed close friends that understandably weren't willing to make the long trek to come see us.  I missed the activities my kids would only be able to fully participate in if we lived in closer proximity.  There were and sometimes still are days I hate the drive, but as with everything there are positives and negatives.

There are days when I love the drive because it gives me time to contemplate, and pray.  Every day I love to be able to see the sunrise and watch the sunset and bask in the glory of all that God has created.  It's quiet where I live (unless my kids are trying to kill each other).  I can go outside, and find stillness.  I can find peace when I need it most.  Now I crave the peace and serenity that I find only on our 8 acres.  I love that I can go out on a beautiful spring morning and have that same quiet happiness that I had while riding my bike to swimming lessons as a kid!! It's wonderful!  go find some peace today

When you struggle where do you turn?

Sometimes you feel an urge.  A desire to share your voice with the world.  You know that it could come at a cost, but the urge comes from within and you must follow it, or suffer the unending inner nagging, as you hold silently to the things you hold sacred and dear, personal and sometimes embarrassing.  But finally, you succumb to that urge and here you are.  Starting a blog, wondering who, if anyone, will read it.

This blog is titled after a scripture that asks us to consider the blessed and happy state of those who keep God's commandments, in contrast with the state of the wicked.  However there are times in life, when the path of righteousness doesn't always insure happiness, at least the way that we think it happiness should be manifested.  This has occupied my thoughts for the last couple days and so here I am.

Recently my family has been struggling financially.  Right before the birth of our son, I quit working. I haven't picked it up again, since, along with 4 small children, we were led by God down the path of homeschooling.  It all became too much.  Getting up early, dealing with the kids, housekeeping, school, music practice and lessons, and other extracurricular activities then work.  Maybe I'm weak, but it became so exhausting to keep my regular work schedule (8pm - 12am) then start at 7:30 or so every morning, and go nonstop with no real down time.  So after talking it over with my husband it was decided that I would take a "temporary" hiatus from work.  Oh and did I mention our 8 acres!! All levels of crazy around here!! 

My sister and I had planned to jointly take our families to So. California for a trip this fall.  We started saving over a year ago, but it was cancelled due to a broken irrigation pump on our side, and a blown transmission on hers (to say the least...things kept happening that we finally decided the fates were against it!)  So I keep thinking "hold on, then things will sort themselves out."  Then today, I get woken up to "Honey can you go pull the dishwasher out and dry underneath it?  There was water all over the floor so it's leaking from somewhere."  Now our hardwood floors we recently refinished are warped and cracking and we may have to replace our dishwasher.  (maybe this one!  ok probably not, but it washes your dishes in about a minute! who wouldn't want that right?)

So the point?  We sometimes wonder, why?  When I am trying to live God's laws to the best of my ability, and he promises that we will prosper if we keep those commandments, why am I left to years of wondering how we are going to make ends meet?   Why does my life feel like it's falling apart? You try to have faith and it seems there is no end in sight.  That everyone else seems to be succeeding and progressing, and you're failing and digressing.  Would it all be easier if I just went back to work?  yes and no.  Is that the answer? I don't know.  Why, when I'm trying my best to be faithful, stress seems to overcome my happiness.  It starts ruling my life and affecting every piece of my life.

So what do we do?  How can we keep a strong perspective of our purpose in life when everything around us seems to be shattering in slow motion?

Faith obviously has a big part to play.  I feel that my mission in life is directly related to my faith. When I can focus on Christ and I can serve others my life becomes easier.  All those things that seem too difficult, or overwhelming, or bog me down with stress, etc.,  I can accomplish, overcome, and succeed.

Today at church a friend shared a scripture:

I think that about says it all.  With Christ all things are possible.  With Christ we can overcome.  With Christ we can become all that eternity has to offer us.  With Christ I am infinitely more then I ever could be alone.  When I allow him to take my yoke, to walk with me, to help me, my burdens do become lighter.  My trials a little easier, my life more peaceful, and my spirit stronger.  I love my Savior.  I love that He gave so much for me personally, just as with everyone individually, so that I wouldn't have to carry all those overwhelming feelings and struggles alone.  He walks with me.